


Oh, Sinnerman

by evelinaonline



Series: Family Game Night [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Even Numbers, Game Night Gone Wrong, Gen, No Incest, on the tua anniversary i still cant believe i have to use that tag, they're playing uno and everyone is competitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22742587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelinaonline/pseuds/evelinaonline
Summary: The Hargreeves have always been competitive, and game night is no exception. And on the final round? Everything goes wrong.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Everyone, Ben Hargreeves & Everyone, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Luther Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Series: Family Game Night [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883620
Comments: 33
Kudos: 275





	Oh, Sinnerman

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY TUA ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE!
> 
> I don't think it's a surprise to anyone when I say that The Umbrella Academy changed my life. I don't know how I could possibly say what I'm feeling into words—and I'm supposed to be a writer—but I did write this little thing to celebrate.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (I would like to say a big thank you to my betas [Orion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warmhandscoldheart/pseuds/Warmhandscoldheart) and [Jena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm5546/pseuds/bookworm5546), you guys are the best. Make sure to check them out!)

Out of all the things that went down in the Hargreeves household, game night was the most intense one.

 _Intense_ was an understatement. Vanya had seen her siblings compete for all sorts of things when they were growing up—their father's approval, for example—yet nothing came remotely close to how competitive they got when playing board games.

And well. Vanya included herself in that.

So when they all gathered around the living room on Sunday night, waiting for Luther to finally finish dealing the cards, Vanya knew she was going to win.

"We'll take turns based on our Numbers," Luther said, and Diego groaned. "What?"

"I thought we went by who has the most points now?" Diego said, pointing at the white board next to the fireplace. The words _Game Night_ were written on top with colorful markers—Klaus insisted they make it fancy—and underneath were their names. Unlike how they were used to, the numbers next to them represented, not their team, but the points from their previous sessions.

Currently Five was first, followed by Allison, then Klaus, Luther, Vanya and lastly, Diego. Ben was usually the card dealer, since Klaus couldn't manifest him for all sessions, this night included.

It was a different board game every night—last week's Battleship didn't end that well—and after three months' worth of games, they were finally ending it with Uno.

The winner would not only go on holiday for the upcoming weekend, but also have the loser do their chores for an entire week.

Vanya needed that holiday.

"Last week we said we'd go by Numbers for the last session," Luther explained.

"But _someone_ was too busy running off because they lost again—"

"For the last time, Klaus, you _moved_ your ship before I sank it and we both know it!"

"Okay, that's enough!" Allison interrupted. "It's important to stay focused during this," she said. "Can't have us losing before we've even started, can we?"

Five shook his head and sighed. Vanya shot him an encouraging smile, and he nodded in acknowledgement.

"My turn then," Luther said and placed a card from the stock in the middle of the table, facing up. _Blue Six._ He took a look at his own cards before finally settling on another blue card. "Diego."

"Yes, yes, I know it's my turn!"

They kept going like this for a while. It was the first time Vanya was grateful for their Numbers, because for once, none of them got confused about whose turn it was. They never sat with a particular order around the table, so every week they had to check the leaderboard.

Tonight, Vanya was sitting on the chair in front of the fireplace. Klaus and Allison were sitting on the couch to her right—Allison and her always sat close to each other, to comment on the game—and Diego was sitting to the chair to her left. Luther was sitting on the other couch, at the fireplace's side, and Five was sitting on the floor, at the other corner of the table.

Thing was, Vanya didn't just suddenly decide not to sit next to Allison on the couch.

For one, yes, she needed to focus, and making fun of the others certainly didn't help. But also, and maybe it was just a little unfair, she'd noticed the way Diego tilted his cards slightly to the right when waiting for his turn, and Vanya needed all the help she could get. Even if Diego saw, no one would ever find out anyway; Diego accused literally everyone of cheating.

They were five rounds in, and Diego's hand currently consisted of three blue cards, three red ones—one of which was a Draw Two card—a yellow one, and a Wild Card.

Meanwhile, Vanya only had four cards left. And from the looks of it, she was going to get rid of at least two of them on her next turn.

It was all going well, until Five reached out for the discard pile. They were starting to run out of yellow cards, so it didn't surprise Vanya. "Pass—"

" _BLUFFSHIT!"_

They all jumped as they turned to Klaus' direction. He'd slammed his cards on the table, getting up and pointing towards Five's direction, who slowly drew his hand away from the pile. "What?"

"I call bluff!" Klaus repeated. "You're bluffing!"

Now, that was interesting.

Five tilted his head. "Sorry?"

"I know you have that Draw Four card, young man," Klaus continued. "You're just waiting for the order to change again so you can use it on me!"

"This is ridiculous, Klaus." Five stood up, holding his hands so tight he had most certainly crumpled them. "I do not have a Draw Four card."

"Ben saw it! You're bluffing!"

"Wait, Ben is _helping_ you?"

Vanya could pinpoint the exact second Klaus' soul left his body.

He slowly turned towards Diego's direction, chuckling nervously. "Maybe he gave me an oh-so-little hand…?"

"Dude!"

"I'm sorry!" Klaus whined. "I needed that holiday and I was not going to let you—"

"No, shut up, I expected that from you," Diego interrupted him, and frantically looked around the room, presumably trying to spot Ben. "But _Ben?_ I thought you wanted to play fair!"

With a sigh, Klaus put his hands together, and Ben's figure slowly faded into the room. "Maybe I would have if you guys had actually _included_ me—!"

"You literally asked us not to!"

"Sometimes people don't say what they mean, _Diego,"_ Klaus said. "Otherwise bluffs wouldn't be a thing, _Five."_

"Bluffing isn't cheating," Five mumbled.

"H-He's right," Vanya said. "But we agreed that whoever bluffs has to draw six."

Silence fell upon the room for a while, as everyone considered Vanya's words. She found herself tapping her fingers on her knee, waiting for the tension to die out.

"I'm okay with that," Diego said after a while, to which Allison sighed in relief. "But Klaus is out and that's not up for discussion—"

"How could Five possibly have a Draw Four card?"

Luther looked really skeptical as he said his question out loud, his eyes pinned on the floor, before finally looking up at them all.

"What are you talking about, _Luther?"_ Five's words were so sharp they might as well have been daggers. "You gave it to me at the begining of the game, when you offered up to be the dealer. Remember?"

"Yes but…" Luther turned his hands around. " _I_ have all the Draw Four cards."

And then hell broke loose once more.

"What?!" Allison practically yelled.

"Fine!" Five said, pulling up his sleeve and revealing not one, but _ten_ Draw Four cards hiding under it. "Maybe I was swapping out my cards! You idiots were going to lose anyway, it makes no difference."

"That explains the empty Uno boxes in his room…" Ben said to Klaus.

"Diego, I thought you said _you_ had a Draw Four!" Allison said.

"He just has a plain Wild Card," Vanya corrected her. It was then that she finished processing her sister's words. "Wait, how would you know Diego's cards?"

"Because we've been working together!" Allison admitted, and Diego groaned. "How would _you_ know his cards?"

Well. Too late to back out now. "It's not my fault he keeps shoving his hand in my face."

"Is no one going to talk about the fact that Luther had all four of the best cards in the game?" Diego asked. "Just me? Because let me just put it out there that our _dealer_ had four freaking Draw Four Cards!"

"Not even _my_ dealer had all of that."

" _Shut up,_ Klaus!"

"Fine!" Luther said, placing his hand down too. "Perhaps… I rigged the deck."

"Perhaps?!"

"Okay, fine, I rigged it!"

"I cannot _believe_ you and Five just _kept them for yourselves—"_

" _Klaus literally had Ben snooping around the entire room!"_

" _Allison and Diego worked together?! Don't they hate each other or something?"_

" _Maybe I didn't want to be Five's stupid servant for an entire week—"_

" _Well I wanted vacation!"_

" _So did I!"_

" _Me too!"_

" _We all wanted vacation!"_

" _Well because of you and your stupid card-hiding skills, neither of us is going anywhere—"_

" _Oh cry me a rumor—"_

"OH MY GOD, JUST _SHUT UP!"_

The room fell into silence as Ben's voice overpowered all the others. Vanya didn't know how to feel about Ben's newfound courage—it was certainly a good thing, but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't been startled. They spent a few good seconds just looking at one another.

Vanya's eyes travelled from sibling to sibling. They all looked so frustrated—she probably did too.

"Well?" Luther broke the silence, gesturing at Ben to continue.

"Oh, you were expecting me to say something." Ben put his hands in his pocket. "Well… I guess you could…" He shot Klaus a look, probably to ask for help, but he didn't say anything. He locked gazes with Vanya for a second too. He locked gazes with everyone.

He never used to look at them in the eyes.

"Sorry, I got nothing," he said, gulping at the end, and sat down on the couch.

"What Benny here is trying to say," Klaus began, "is that we can all learn something from this."

Ben shrugged. "Sure?"

"See!" Klaus said. "We can't let this all be for nothing." He stood up, stepping on the table. "Yes, we may all be snakes. But if Buzzfeed quizzes account for anything—"

"They don't."

"—then not all Slytherins are bad!" Klaus continued, ignoring Diego's comment. "Sure, we may have our differences… Some are more stubborn than others." He pointed at Five and Luther. "Some are more quiet." He pointed at Vanya and Ben. He then pointed at himself. "And some deserve to go on vacation to the sweet city of Paris—"

"Oh get out of here with that shit," Diego interrupted and grumbled, followed by literally everyone else in the room. Klaus pouted, but got off the table, and Ben patted his head.

"Let's just call the final round off for today and have a rematch next week," Allison suggested.

"I'm okay with that," Vanya said, and slowly everyone else agreed.

"Next week it is, then," Luther said.

"And I'll be the dealer—"

"Ben, no offense," Vanya interrupted him, "but literally no one here can trust you right now."

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. He shrugged instead. "Fair enough."

In exactly six days and twenty-two hours, the Hargreeves would, once again, gather around the living room for their final round of game night. Little did they know, it was not going to be their last…

But for now, oh for now, all Vanya wanted was a nap.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Title: In which everyone just fucking cheats at uno.
> 
> I seriously can't believe it's been a year since The Umbrella Academy came out. I know I said this already, but this show changed my life. It helped me grow as a creator, a writer, and most importantly, a person. I will forever be grateful to everything the show has offered me, you guys included. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories. It means the absolute world to me.
> 
> Happy birthday, TUA <3
> 
> If you have any writing requests (or you just want to have a chat about TUA) [hit me up on tumblr (evelinaonline)](https://evelinaonline.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> And when I said there's gonna be a rematch? I meant it. Stay tuned for a (potential) sequel!
> 
> Now... It's time to rewatch The Umbrella Academy <3
> 
> UPDATE: Check out this [AMAZING artwork](https://egyptian-sun-god.tumblr.com/post/624441512053325824/i-was-pretty-damn-inspired-after-reading) based on this fic by the wonderful @egyptian-sun-god on tumblr!


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